Step Parent Question and Answer I have a twenty-three year old step son who moved back home a year ago. He has a job, but refuses to help out or even try to find a place of his own, and I know he's trying to cause problems between his father and I. What can I do? As a step parent, the first thing you need to do is have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Rather than focusing on your fears, focus on the opportunities presented by this situation. Start off by telling your husband that you love him very much and that you know how much his son means to him. Since he cares for him so much, he needs to help him grow into a man who can take care of himself and his family, rather than enabling him. In order for this to happen, suggest that he establish firm ground rules that encourage a sense of responsibility and help prepare his son for the realities of moving out and living on his own. Since you are the step parent, make your husband responsible for laying down the rules and enforc...