Anyone who says step parenting is not hard work has not experienced it for themselves. The good news however is that the hard work and patience could pay off and potentially lead to a happy family unit. It does not have to be doom and gloom for a step family all the time.
There are some ways in which one can become a successful step parent and one of such ways is through bonding with the step children.
So how does one bond with one's step children?
Getting involved in activities
As a step parent, one of the quickest ways to bond with the children is by showing an interest in their hobbies and activities at school. Get to know what they like doing and make time to ask questions and if possible join in if they allow you. For activities at school, you could go with your spouse to attend say for example the cricket classes and stay to cheer them on, etc.
Doing things together
Another way of bonding is by doing things together. This would not involve your spouse, just you and your step children. Do not be put off if on the first or second occasion, they refuse to engage or even allow you to go out with them. If you persist, one day they may relent and allow you to be a part of their interests.
What you choose to do with the children does not have to be anything complicated. It could be something as simple as preparing a dish together or going to see a movie you know they like. You might even decide to do something outside your comfort zone probably like playing a computer game with them.
Keep the memory of their birth parent alive
This is mainly for if the other birth parent is deceased. Try as much as possible to keep the memory of the parent alive by making references to them and saying nice things about them. You could also help them with pictures and other keepsake items they have. This is a sensitive topic, but if the child wants to talk about their dead parent, then do not discourage them at all. By being understanding and willing to help them - you are creating a bond and you would have found yourself a new friend as well.
On the other hand, if the other parent is alive and your step child wants to talk about them, allow them to do so and make sure you never make a disparaging remark about them. Encourage them to talk about their parent if that is what makes them happy.
For these two situations, if your step child sees that you can be trusted with such things as their other parent; they will begin to warm towards you because they will find that they have someone in the house they can talk to. In addition to this, your step child will not see you as a threat in terms of their biological parent and you may find that they connect more with you because of this.
Whilst there are various ways to bond with one's step children, these are just examples of some of them.
There are some ways in which one can become a successful step parent and one of such ways is through bonding with the step children.
So how does one bond with one's step children?
Getting involved in activities
As a step parent, one of the quickest ways to bond with the children is by showing an interest in their hobbies and activities at school. Get to know what they like doing and make time to ask questions and if possible join in if they allow you. For activities at school, you could go with your spouse to attend say for example the cricket classes and stay to cheer them on, etc.
Doing things together
Another way of bonding is by doing things together. This would not involve your spouse, just you and your step children. Do not be put off if on the first or second occasion, they refuse to engage or even allow you to go out with them. If you persist, one day they may relent and allow you to be a part of their interests.
What you choose to do with the children does not have to be anything complicated. It could be something as simple as preparing a dish together or going to see a movie you know they like. You might even decide to do something outside your comfort zone probably like playing a computer game with them.
Keep the memory of their birth parent alive
This is mainly for if the other birth parent is deceased. Try as much as possible to keep the memory of the parent alive by making references to them and saying nice things about them. You could also help them with pictures and other keepsake items they have. This is a sensitive topic, but if the child wants to talk about their dead parent, then do not discourage them at all. By being understanding and willing to help them - you are creating a bond and you would have found yourself a new friend as well.
On the other hand, if the other parent is alive and your step child wants to talk about them, allow them to do so and make sure you never make a disparaging remark about them. Encourage them to talk about their parent if that is what makes them happy.
For these two situations, if your step child sees that you can be trusted with such things as their other parent; they will begin to warm towards you because they will find that they have someone in the house they can talk to. In addition to this, your step child will not see you as a threat in terms of their biological parent and you may find that they connect more with you because of this.
Whilst there are various ways to bond with one's step children, these are just examples of some of them.
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